Who wants to be a friend of Dorothy?

Now, take a look at darling little Dorothy over here. Sadly, this Dorothy didn't land in Oz, where she could have simply taken the Wicked Witch of the East's ruby (or silver, if you're a purist) slippers. Instead, she landed in nearby Zo, where she was forced to brutally slaughter the Beastly Bear of the Bronx and chop his feet off to use them as... well, "boots" is a word I hate to dignify these atrocities with, but words fail me thinking of an alternative.

But Dorothy seems to have developed some kind of crazy killing streak as, spurred by the first taste of blood, she skinned her opponent further to make her hat. And, even after that, she tracked down the Beastly Bear of the Bronx's albino cousin, the Perfidious Polar of Pearl Harbor, brutally cut him down, and used his fur to line her (already quite ugly) coat's sleeves and hood.

Pray for the two bears' souls, kittens. Let us hope that they aren't looking down from Bear Heaven to see how what hideous outerwear their body parts are being used as. And if you see Dorothy clomp-clomp-clomping along in your neighborhood, watch out. You never know when she might be needing a new set of panties made solely of human skin.