Thursday, April 30, 2009

Queen Furrrocious of Heck's Angels

I honestly don't know what to make of this woman. Is she bipolar? Does she have multiple personality disorder, only one of her personalities lives in her vajay? I mean, each element of this ensemble is just gorgeous. The awkward gray leggings that cut her calves at the most awkward place possible, the wrinkled black skirt that even further stumpifies her, and that stunningly painted leather jacket. That last one is just a real piece of work. I mean, who even knew they made a Christian version of Final Fantasy, let alone sold merchandise for it?

But anyway, why? Why take each of these unique and fabulous items of clothing and put them together to create the fashionable equivalent of being between a rock and a hard place (if the rock and the hard place have just been thrown at your head at a great speed)? Well, after long thought, I've realized why this lovely dame isn't quite matching. Earlier this morning, I suspect, she was attempting to create a snappy look by using her Bedazzler(TM) to make the skirt even fiercier. However, despite her best efforts, it just wouldn't work. If everyone's role model Ms. Elle Woods had been there, she could have told Sassy McPleather the one rule every Cosmo girl should remember for all occasions: you can't Bedazzle rhinestones onto china silk - it'll pucker. Oh well, Sassy. Better luck next time! Good luck with all your future theological video game endeavors!

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